Anyone who is married or has been can attest to the fact that marriage is not an easy road to take. After the honeymoon, reality sets in. There will be good days and bad days. Sometimes, one of the bad days would include your wife suddenly yelling at you. This may stun for a bit, but instead of reacting to her angrily, try to find out the cause of this yelling. Knowing how to deal with her yelling will de-escalate the situation and focus on the underlying cause.
Why Do People Yell?
It is important to know why people yell in the first place. Yelling is a behavior, not an emotion. Anger is the emotion usually associated with yelling. Yelling is a primal, instinctual response to wanting to be heard or attracting another’s attention. Knowing these will benefit you later as you read on.
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Common Reasons Why My Wife is Yelling at Me and What You Can do About it
There are numerous reasons why wives yell at their husbands: coming home late, not doing chores, calling out misbehavior, etc. All these can be narrowed down to three root causes, discussed below. For each reason, there is a suggested action plan for you to consider if you want to try to stop the yelling.
Reason 1: Feeling Unheard or Neglected
One reason wives get frustrated and sometimes resort to yelling is feeling unheard or neglected. When you do not do the chores she tells you to do or if she thinks you are not listening to her, she will get frustrated and yell at you to do what she asked or listen to her.
In this scenario, you should actively listen to her and validate her feelings. This means you should fully understand what she is saying, respond thoughtfully to her requests, and show genuine concern for your wife. These will make your wife feel acknowledged.
Reason 2: Feeling Stressed or Overwhelmed with Responsibilities
Another reason wives yell is when they feel overwhelmed with responsibilities. She is probably yelling to release her stress from what she has to deal with that day. As mentioned before, there will be good days, so this is one of those bad days.
If this is the case, allow her to do so and stay out of the way. Do not attempt to confront her until she has calmed down. Once she is feeling better, listen to what caused her to yell. Try to help out where you can and show appreciation where it is due. Provide emotional support to her to create balance in the relationship.
Reason 3: Power Struggles in the Marriage
Finally, power struggles within the marriage majorly cause your wife to yell at you. Tensions arise from conflicts over decision-making, roles, and control. Yelling in this situation allows your wife to assert her power or control over you.
There may be deeper issues that your wife needs to address, but for this marriage to work, communication and respect are keys to managing this situation. Communicate openly about the willingness to compromise and clarify expectations of each other in the marriage. Working together instead of against each other will definitely strengthen your relationship.
A line in a Frank Sinatra song goes, “Lova and Marriage go together like a horse and carriage.” This seems like a simplification of marriage in that love is needed for it to work. While this is true, other things, like respect and communication, are also needed for it to work. True love must have respect for one another. This is what the song is probably telling you, so give it a good listen to its message so that your wife will not yell at you anymore.
