Yesterday we had a wonderful day in Tayto Park, kids in their element as per usual, running wild and free. Me on the other hand, I was exposed to a vile human being and was told to ‘have some more respect for yourself’ as I fed my one-year-old.

Even though I admittedly had previously prepared myself for any negative backlash about breastfeeding in public, I froze. I stared as he stared. He tutted whilst looking me up and down in disgust as I fed my daughter the most natural way in the world. Tears fell from my face as I felt stuck to the bench, mute.

I wasn’t using my baby as a prop or trying to make a statement. I was simply meeting her needs by comforting her. I was discreet, half hidden by a buggy of two sleeping children.

People like you will not go far in this world.

A first and what I would like to be believed is an isolated incident. In the year I have fed my daughter I’ve had nothing but well wishes and thankful smiles. But here’s the thing. Breastfeeding is NORMAL.

My daughter’s health and needs are MY priority. Not yours. So send your tutt, your shameful look, and comment where the sun doesn’t shine you uneducated fool.

You may have knocked me yesterday but it’s only gone and made me stronger and given me more reasons to normalize breastfeeding in this God forsaken country.

I hope you were stung by a wasp on your way out.

27 Comments on To the man who told me to ‘have some more respect for yourself’.

  1. Sorry that happened to you. Your reaction was normal. It’s a shock to encounter someone like that when you’re not expecting it 🙁 Otherwise I’m sure you’d have told him exactly where to go. It’s sad that until breastfeeding is normalised strangers will feel entitled to harrass mothers about something that is absolutely none of their business.

    • Thanks, Sophie! I always thought I’d be one to be vocal if someone said something to me in public – honestly never thought I’d freeze.

  2. I couldn’t believe it when I saw that on your snaps yesterday! What a total freak!! Says more about him than anything else. Glad you didn’t let it knock you!

    • Thank you, Dee. And no, I didn’t let a low life like him knock me for good. We are still feeding everywhere and anywhere and I promise not to be so mute if it ever happens again (although I hope it never does!)

  3. I think you should carry a water pistol filled with milk. Whenever you come across a man like that, you should shoot him with this milk pistol.

  4. Horrible people out there- but unfortunately I’d say this msg on fb has fallen on deaf ears ( or blind eyes in the case) as he’s probably not even on fb- we are gonna have to be ready with answers in future and stand up to these bullies- or how can we expect our children to- I was very cobcioys feeding in public and thankfully never came up against anything like this but I’ve had other run- ins with people- it kills me when they’ve gone off and I’ve said nothing but the times I’ve had an answer – I feel 8ft tall- disgusting that this man even made a comment – was he with children? This is harassment and I’d report it to Tayto pk- they would obv not know of this but few well placed signs stating it’s a “breast feeding friendly ” place and anyone commenting negatively can be reported to them

    • Hi, Sharon, when he walked passed me he was on his own (i think he was with teens but I cannot be too sure). I have drafted an email to Tayto Park and I’m hoping they may even create a feeding room. Feeding outdoors isn’t an issue for me but some days it can be quiet cold there so it would be nice to have somewhere to go, don’t you think? Some ‘breastfeeding friendly signs would be nice too…

  5. Thinking about the x amounts of times you will and have fed your baby with no problems at all. It just takes one negative comment that you will never forget. I’m similar in the fact that I’ve always had positive comments and thankfully never bad but I have had a negative comment on carrying my child in a sling, I’ve never forgotten him. I have however continued to carry my son well into toddler hood because it brings us both comfort and ease. Rise above this insignificant blip of a man and continue giving your child what they need for as long as you both want. You are Mum, you are strong xxx

    • Thank you so much, Karen! And sorry to hear you had some nasty words about carrying your baby. I would never have thought someone could make negative comments about babywearing. Absolute madness.

  6. That’s horrendous!! I’ve heard stories of people like that but thankfully never encountered them when I was feeding. I hope you’ve gotten over the upset. What a horrible individual.

  7. Total and utter ignorance! I thought those medieval views were well and truly gone. I got some looks when I breastfed my son in public 16 years ago, thought we had moved on from then. Just ignore stupid and horrible ( not to mention rude) people like that. His own life is most likely miserable if he has to attack a breastfeeding mother . Lots of support from a pro breastfeeding family!

    • Thank you so much, Anna. And I’m completely with you on that – how miserable must his life be to be negative towards someone feeding their child naturally. It’s a crazy world!

  8. Ignorance is no excuse for his diabolical behaviour. When will these people realise that they too may have been breastfed by their mother or do they still want to live in the dark ages?

    • Rosaleen if he lived in the dark ages he’d know breastfeeding was the only way to feed a child back then lol. Sure for all he knows he was breastfed himself.

  9. So sorry to hear you were made to feel this way. I’m still breastfeeding at 14 months & have been lucky so far with no negative comments. I like to think I’d challenge anyone who criticises but the reality is that I’d probably be too shocked/hurt. But you’re doing the most natural thing in the world & don’t let small minded idiots stop you. He’s clearly the one who has issues if he can look at someone breastfeeding a baby and see something wrong in it. Stay strong lovely lady.

  10. What a beauty. I think what would kill me most if this happened to me is all the conversations I’d have with the fecker after he’d walked away! Oh for a second chance at him.
    Of course you know he was in the wrong but it’s awful to be looked at and spoken to in that way regardless.
    When I was nursing a friend used to ask annoying people, “Have you been booked in for an EEG?” (In other words, “Has anyone checked you have a brain?”) I think he would definitely have been asked that question by her.
    I hope you’re feeling better.

    • Tric, my exact thoughts. I can think of everything I want to say to him but sure they wouldn’t fall out of my mouth then when I needed it! I’m hoping there won’t be ‘a next time’ so no need to be ‘prepared’ if it happens again IYKWIM.

  11. Fair play to you and take no notice of that ignoramus…you are mothering your little babóg and shame on him for putting a damper on your lovely family day out. He’ll have no luck for it! I gave my little fairy ”baboo’ as we used to call it until she was almost three and I’m so glad I did but friends both men and women often said to me-ah you’ve done enough now time for the bottles!! Grrrr…..used to make me so mad!!! Much less hassle to whip out baboo than go making up formula. Anyway, I just wanted to show some support for you.

    • I’m getting that a lot lately now Cara since babog is just 14 months a couple of days now. They haven’t a clue. And thank you for the support, it’s much appreciated!

  12. Thank you so much for this Kellie, you are a HERO. I don’t know what our society has turned into but that was just wrong. Pornography is plastered everywhere and it’s killing our society yet something as natural and beneficial as breastfeeding is seen as some sort of crime. Makes me sick. Keep up the good work mama and don’t pay attention to these type of people.

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