My toddler is mad, fact. I really don’t know where I got him from. He’s a walking, non-talking mischievous little bugger. I keep saying kids will be kids to myself but my toddler has his own set own rules that he lives off. It’s his way or the highway…

Oh, look there’s nana – let’s open her laces, she loves that.

When we go on a walk I like to blow every single dandelion, stop for every truck and wave at every plane. Sure mama needs the rest every couple of seconds.

The baby looks like she’s enjoying that piece of toast, let’s give it to the dog.

Oh, look mama is hovering let keep turning the hoover on and off until she loses her shit.

Oh, nana has lovely clean trousers on. Smack. Nana loves when I give her muddy/crumby/wet handprints.

Mama is letting me be creative, she’s got lots of stuff for us to paint, instead, I’m going to paint myself and the table and the wall and well everything.


Mama loves playing put me in the car seat. I will try beat yesterday’s score of one minute of resisting arrest.

Let’s prove mammy wrong, baby-led weaning isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’m not eating anything she makes me today. Instead, I will crawl on the ground like a dog and eat any crumbs I can find from last week just to drive her insane.

I will only poo when my nappy has just been changed – she loves that.

Mama just told me to hurry, quick hide.

If mama won’t give me a soother I will creep around the baba and whip her whilst she’s not looking.

I will use my cuteness to my advantage. It was the baba…


I promised mama I wouldn’t throw my beaker at her while she’s driving. Jokes!

Just when mama thinks I’m asleep I will bang my boppy off my cot when it’s empty. Tap-a-tap-a-tap. She loves that.

Mama is reading me a book, don’t let her turn the page – it’s a trick!

I will only look for cuddles when it’s my sister’s naptime or if she’s a bit cranky. Mama loves to carry two and a half kids around.

Mama is so good, she’s twenty-nine weeks pregnant and she’s on her hands and knees cleaning up my toys. I’ll just pour this 101 piece jigsaw on the ground to keep her busy.

I will make nana give me five high-fives, seven nugs, a hug and to blow twenty-nine kisses before she leaves. Not as if she’s in a hurry or anything.

Mama won’t give me a treat. I’ll just throw myself on the ground. That’ll work. It always does.

Jojo’s (Daddy) home and I can hear mammy telling him all the things I did today, she’s talking about adoption. Let’s sing my ABC’S and give daddy a big kiss, a hug and act like butter wouldn’t melt.

Baba has my play phone. Baba is not allowed play with any of my toys. Mama here hold baba’s rattle while I go get my toys from her.

Mama is playing with me. We are playing with the snap cards. Let’s drive mama mad by saying wow-wow to every single animal we come across.

It’s dinner time. Let’s eat with my hands, ask for thirds and make it look like mama hasn’t fed me all day.

But then I do cute stuff like this, make mama’s heart melt and she forgets about all the crazy silly things I do…





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