We have been waiting for this day seven weeks now, to catch a glimpse of our little peanut, to find out how big he or she is and to confirm our due date. Today was supposed to an ecstatic, joyful and heart melting. Today was the day we had our first scan.
It didn’t go as planned.
We got some devastating news. Our clinical midwife sympathetically told us our baby will need another scan ‘to rule out Down Syndrome’.
Once she said the words Down Syndrome, I could feel my throat drying up and my tummy turned upside down. Joe, my partner became pale. We both stared at each other. No words were exchanged. I was inconsolable.
She says her findings are not definite; I will need a further scan with a Consultant in two weeks to measure the fluid at the back of my babies neck, called nuchal translucency. She explained everything we needed to know for now. She also told me not to google anything as I will only worry myself even more. Little did she know I blog, I live online. Google is my virtual best friend.
I am worried. I am sick to my stomach. I’m scared. I cannot eat. I cannot think straight.
I am devastated.
I’m scared of the possibility of raising a baby with Down Syndrome. I know I am a great mammy and Joe a fantastic dad. We have a huge support network around us. We have the best family and friends you could ask for. We worry about bumps health. What does the future hold for our unborn child?
Will our baby have a hearing problem? Will our baby have a physical disability? Will our baby develop congenital heart disease? Will our baby have any other health problems?
We want all the answers now. We can’t have them.
Enter the longest two weeks of our lives.
The news about my pregnancy is spreading fast. Hundreds of thousands have watched Kayla’s reaction to our wonderful news. While on the phone to a friend today, I told her about our scan and risk of our baby having Down Syndrome, she replied some lovely reassuring words, then said ‘A down syndrome baby is a gift from God’.
And that’s when it hit me. A baby with Down Syndrome is NOT a gift from god, ALL BABIES ARE!
Today I have accepted my baby may have a disability. Today I have stopped crying and feeling sorry for myself. Today I stop asking ‘why me?’. Today my partner and I had a real conversation about what the future might hold for our expanding family.
All babies have a nuchal fold of fluid behind their head. Bumps measured higher than normal at 2.8mm during our ten week scan. Anything above three is considered pretty ‘high risk’.
The wait is over.
Today bumps fluid measured 2.3mm. Amazing news. The cord is wrapped around our bumps neck (very common and not dangerous in early pregnancy) and this could have given an inaccurate reading at our dating scan.
I prepared myself for the worst. I had all the questions ready in the notes section of my phone. I did not need them. She was very reassuring. Our consultant continued to tell us about other options available like different types of blood tests available. We could have a blood test done today for €100 and we chose not to. There is also another blood test available in The Beacon costing €450 with a 90% accuracy, we will not be having this one either. She also mentioned another test, I think it was an amniocentesis, again it’s not an option for us, personally we think the risks are too high to even consider. Today the result was low. Our consultant has decided we will have an early anatomy scan at 17 weeks too instead of the normal 20/21 weeks.
For almost three weeks we have been living a nightmare, our world was turned upside down, we didn’t sleep, we couldn’t eat and I cried almost every day. Today we got another glimpse of our little babog. Bump is perfect and he/she always will be, no matter what.
Kadie Belle was born 20/08/2015 read all about it HERE.
41 Comments on A Baby is a Blessing, a Gift From God Above. A Precious Little Angel to Cherish and to Love.
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[…] the ‘big’ scan most pregnant women have at 20-21 weeks because our sonographer found increased nuchal translucency at our ten week scan. While we accepted our babies increased risk of Down Syndrome, it was still a long stressful […]
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Wishing you a continued happy and healthy pregnancy.
Thank you Gwen xx
Oh wow Kellie what an emotional stressing time for you, I’m glad things are looking up and hope they continue to improve, and like you said all babies are a blessing xxx
Thanks Sara. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions. But yes all babies are blessings.
I was holding my breath the entire time I was reading this post. I saw your daughter’s reaction when you told get about the baby and I’m relieved for you and your family. And you are right, all babies are perfect gifts from God x
Oh Kellie, what an emotional post. In tears reading, I’m so pleased that you got good news and even better to read that your little peanut is perfect, and always will be xx
Took some time but I got there. Thank you Elizabeth xx
Kellie you put it so beautifully. Glad you are feeling happier 🙂
Much happier, whatever the outcome. My little blessing. Thank you x
I had an a very similiar experience last year Kellie when I was 38 weeks pregnant. We couldn’t have any certainty until the baby was delivered and it was absolute torture. The problem the scans showed meant anything from nothing to our baby having a life limiting condition. The horror of those few weeks will never leave me and its something very few people understand so feel free to drop me a line if you want to talk.
happily our story had a happy ending. I hope yours does too. X
Oh Helen that must have been torture! I’m glad to hear you guys got a happy ending. Regardless of the outcome I think we’ll be okay. It’s very hard to take it when something happena like this. We just think thay will never happen us. Thank you very much Helen xx
My story has a happy ending too, just my happy ending includes my son having Down syndrome. He is the light of my life and teaches me so much.
How lovely! What a lovely way to put it. No matter what happens for us in august our baby will be perfect.
What a tough week you’ve had. Everything will work out just as they should though. Sending you lots of love and positivity for the rest of your pregnancy 🙂 x
It has been tough, thanks a mill xx
A very emotional post, sending lots of positive pregnancy vibes to you and the baby. 🙂 xx
I know there is an expression “that brought a tear to my eye”, well my tears are streaming down my face!!! Such a stressful few weeks and such an amazing post!! You are amazing parents and I love your outlook, babies truly are a gift and Ur little gift is truly blessed to have such wonderful Parents! Wishing u the healthiest of pregnancies xx
This was written so well, and really lovely. I can only imagine how stressful and horrible the last few weeks have been for you all. Everything will be as is supposed to be and you sound like such good parents that you can rise to anything thrown at you. Hoping you have a stress free rest of pregnancy! Your little peanut will be perfect! Thanks for linking up #mummymonday xx
Thanks Alice, what will be, will be and whatever that is my baby is perfect and always will be x
What a lovely, well written, post.
What a stressful time you have had. It did strike a nerve with me though. I have a genetic condition that gave my boys a 50/50 chance of contracting it. They couldn’t tell us in pregnancies. They still can’t tell us now 6 years on. We’ve got to wait until they’re at least 12 to get it tested for.
We were told the facts, I knew the life, we were told that we had a ‘choice’. But struck me with your post is this: all children are a gift. Our first pregnancy was filled with worry and doubt. For something we wouldn’t know for 12 years. It dawned on us about half way through……This child would live. My life is hard at times but I can and do more than most people. Opportunities are available for all. Looking at my two boys now I am glad that I see them as a gift. They have the best example for me as a dad to live a life if anything did happen.
I’m pleased that your wait is over though. And I wish you all continued health. Children are a blessing indeed. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky I hope that it can help people feel comforted with the fact that all children, whatever their circumstances, are a blessing.
Martyn that must have been so stressful!! They are a gift, they got life, we are so lucky to be able to have that. No matter the outcome they really are a blessing.
Such a lovely, well written post.
I can’t even begin to imagine how stressful those few weeks were but I hope the rest of your pregnancy is as stress free as possible.
That sounds incredibly stressful! I hope it eases up for you!
Thanks for linking up! Can you add the linky badge next time too? 🙂
This is beautiful, I love how you described your process from fear to acceptance. Whatever happens, your baby will be loved.
Thanks Katie x
Wow! You’re absolutely right, all babies are a gift from God; each individual life specially created … wonderful, isn’t it.
I can’t imagine how horrible those waiting weeks must have been. I’m so pleased for you about the result, but also glad that you came to a resolution about your feelings towards your lovely peanut whatever the case maybe.
All the best as you continue with your pregnancy. #TheList
I don’t normally do this but I wanted to share my post with you about when I first accepted my daughters DS.
https://nikoteen87.wordpress.com/2014/03/21/why-me-why-not/
The asking yourself why me is a normal reaction that we all go through.
I can’t imagine what it was like for you! I am happy that it’s all turned out for you 🙂
Such an emotional post. I wish you the best for the coming weeks of pregnancy and I am sure you will be a great Mummy! You’re right… ALL babies are blessings from God. #twinkletuesdays
Thank you 🙂
I can’t imagine how these weeks must have felt for you, I was on edge just reading this. I hope you hold on to this strength and positivity through the rest of your pregnancy and as you welcome your baby into the world. #TwinklyTuesday
It was a tough few weeks but we got through it. Only 13 weeks left to meet her and I cannot wait now, it’s flying by 🙂
What a long few weeks that must of been. It’s scary enough going for scans as it is but you must have been so worried by this, as we all would be. There is no doubt that every baby is a gift (I’m not religious!) and we would all be wonderful parents no matter whether our children are perfectly healthy or with disabilities. I hope the rest of your pregnancy has been worry free 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Don’t panic. I have had this happen to me twice and needed an amniocentis the first time and a CVS the second. It was one of the most terrifying times in my pregnancies but thankfully both my boys were happy and healthy.
Is it the blood test you are waiting results for?