Tag: parenting

15 Lies We Tell Our Kids

We all tell tales to our small for a multitude of reasons whether it’s to protect them, not knowing the answer, to avoid a meltdown or for the sake of our own sanity. If you think you have never told your child a lie, you’re a goddamn LIAR! Here is a list of the most common lies I have my kid and the ones our mammies and daddies have told us.

1. ‘If you keep picking your nose, it will fall off’

Disgusting habit, once they start, they can’t stop.

2. ‘Show me your tongue, if it’s black you are LYING!’

The trick? Only mammies and daddies can see it.

3. ‘We’re almost there’

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? ARE WE THERE YET!!

4. ‘I’m leaving without you’

You have to be willing to walk away and hid around a corner, trust me they WILL follow!

5. ‘We’ll come back another time’

The awkward moment you’re about to leave the park, zoo or toy shop.

6. ‘If you don’t clean up those toys, I will throw them out’

You will never throw them out but it works.

6. ‘If you go outside with wet hair, you’ll catch a cold’

I hated this as a child, I still do. Colds are caused by viruses, not from being out in the cold.

8. ‘Santa is watching you’

He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! The biggest lie we have told our kids.

9. ‘I’ll tell the Easter bunny, tooth fairy, fairies…’

Need I say more?

   10. ‘If the wind changes, your face will stay like that’

We live in Ireland, the wind is always changing.

   11. ‘Cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis’

This is actually a myth, a MYTH!

   12. ‘If you swallow gum it will get stuck in your gut’

In fact, it will just take longer to digest.

   13. ‘It’s bedtime’

It’s a half hour before bedtime and you trick them into an early night, no harm done.

    14. ‘It doesn’t matter if you win or lose’

Of course, it does, win, win, WIN!!

     15. ‘They’re all gone’

You really mean ‘I’m going to eat them when you are in bed!’.

Our Weaning Adventures

At four months Frankie didn’t seem satisfied solely on bottles, he started to wake up for feeds throughout the night and was taking a lot of interest in our food and sucking his pudgy little hands, so regardless of recommendations of midwives, public health nurses and the likes I decided to start weaning Frankie earlier than the six months. It is advised to start a baby on solids when they are six-months due to development and nutritional reasons.

I suppose due to these ‘rules’ administered by health care officials I wasn’t very prepared for weaning, I had no high chair, baby spoons or water-proof bibs. I decided I wanted everything organic, homemade, full of nutritious ingredients although on a few occasions I have given him puree fruit pots, they are so handy if you are out and about or if your homemades haven’t fully defrosted by snack time.

It’s so true, the nutrition baby receives in their first year will impact on their eating habits for the rest of their lives. I look at Kayla my first born,  who eats dinners solely of mash, carrots and gravy. She is a very fussy eater and that is due to my poor diet I inflicted on her in the first years. It’s something I regret immensely, since then I have changed my attitude to parenting and put my her needs before my own. Over the past year Kayla has grew a love for fruit, all fruit, so her eating habits are slowly improving. If I had of introduced all the beautiful foods there are out there sooner maybe she wouldn’t be so picky.

I decided Frankie’s first meal would be a taste of porridge, something easy and simple to make, although it didn’t happen that way. The texture was nothing like my Nana’s, it resembled gloop and had the consistency of tar. He gagged, he heaved, he cried, he projectile-spat across the room, It was a big FAIL! So maybe porridge wasn’t the best decision but you have to learn these things for yourself. You have to find what works for you and your baby.

Frankie’s first spoon feed

When he learnt to swallow food we moved onto sweet potato, carrots and butternut squash. It wasn’t until I started cooking up a storm in the kitchen that I realised all his food was orange. So as the days and weeks went by, I started introducing more food like parsnips, peas and chicken all pureed of course. He took some time accepting some of the new flavours, he would spit the food allover the room but I never gave up. He loves his food; now that I’m offering a huge variety.

Frankie is six months now and I have many worries about weaning, Kayla my four-year-old was allergic to eggs, lactose intolerant and it was around this age we discovered it. The fear of him choking on finger food also scares me, it’s natural to worry but I take it to another level. I have taken a course in First Aid to ease my anxieties.

I’m also very house proud, so when it comes to finger food I tend to opt for dry food like bread and toast, soon realising I was starting to follow my old weaning habits I had on Kayla. I’ve given in to my former ways and have given him mango, banana and cheese. I’m allowing him to explore, play and make all the mess that needs be for him to enjoy it.

Weaning is such an important part of babies’ development and I’m so proud I’ve changed my old ways and allowed him to mush, squish and squeeze these new textures and flavours whether it be into his hair, ears or nose. I won’t lie the mess can be frustrating but it’s harder to have a child who won’t eat vegetables and meat than clean up a baby after a fun meal-time.

Tales of a Tired Mom

After many challenges, questions and occasional tantrums with the small, bedtime can be quiet frustrating in my household. Last week it was an utter success but unfortunately it was replaced by a week-long of sleepless nights from sundown to sunrise with thanks to my two nocturnal children.

I woke up one of the mornings to find Frankie naked from the waist down and Kayla in his cot changing his bum. With the happiest grin, thinking she was the cleverest, smartest, greatest kid in the world, I refrained from screaming, I got up went the toilet counted to ten returned and took over what she had started. Not a wipe left in the 60 pack and they are all face down in his sheets. Lovely, thanks Kayla you’re the best (sic). The two of them smiling and cooing, whilst I looked on as if I had escaped from an asylum after another sleepless night.

Last week I considered giving them up for adoption. They spent four of seven nights acting the complete bollox, here is a recorded timeline of one those nights…

7.45 Story time with the four-year-old.

8.05 She goes straight asleep, success!

8.15 Feed baby his last bottle.

8.30 Babies bedtime.

8.37 Baby cries, race up the stairs to put soother in mouth.

8.39 Breathless, sits on stairs for a few minutes.

8.42 Boils kettle, makes coffee.

8.50 Baby cries.

8.51 Trying to avoid eye contact with smiling baby.

8.52 Tuck in, soother, kiss goodnight.

9.01 Baby falls asleep.

9.03 Clicks kettle, mammy time.

10.30 Bedtime; creeps back into room, don’t breathe, get into bed.

10.41 Baby wakes up for soother.

10.50 Baby coughs.

23.04 Baby falls asleep and snores heavily; surprised neighbours cannot hear.

23.10-23.20 I fall asleep.

00.07 Four year old wakes up – to warm.

00.13 Now she’s too cold.

00.14-00.20 She falls asleep.

01.36 Baby wakes up – doesn’t know what he wants.

01.45 Falls asleep *snores (pokes baby to try stop snoring).

02.30 Baby wakes; I let baby cry it out.

02.50 I give in, bottle time.

03.56 Loud bang followed by four-year-old calling for mammy.

03.57 Tucks her in, rubs back (she fell out of bed HAHA), kisses goodnight.

03.59 She now needs to go the toilet (WTF, considers telling her she has a mattress protector).

04.00 Carries child to toilet, wipes bum, washes hands, tuck’s in.

04.06 Find four-year-old creepily loitering around bedroom door.

04.07 I allow her to co-sleep.

04.10 Baby wakes up.

04.15-04.25 Everyone asleep and snoring.

06.05 Beep Beep… BEEP, stupid van reverses up the road (I consider throwing rocks from the window).

06.40 Neighbour slams door leaving for work (considers throwing rocks again).

06.41 Everyone’s awake.

07.00 Daydreams about adoption, running away and working nights.

I’ve yet to meet a mom who hasn’t had their fair share of sleepless nights. I choose to be a mom; I choose to have two children, i do love them, it comes without saying. My god its hard work, if you’re not wiping butts, wiping up sick you’re nursing a boo-boo. So dear friends and family STOP judging me on my high level of caffeine intake, telling me I look tired, and do not judge my appearance. I am tired!!

Things I've Learnt Being A MAAAmmy

1. You will no longer laugh at the parents of hurricane hell raising children on Channel 4.

2. Counting to three will be your most commonly used phrase.

3. You will spend most of your days with a howling resident on the bottom step of your stairs.

4. You question how people in bungalows discipline their children.

5. You prefer cuddling and kids movies to hitting pubs and clubs.

6. Your home will be covered in valuable pieces of artwork that didn’t cost you a thing.

7. You will sneak sweets like it’s a contraband substance, soon mastering ramming anything that tastes good into your mouth and be able to exchange conversation with your small normally.

8. It doesn’t matter how many books, magazines and articles you read about caring for your child, every child is different and they all progress at their own pace.

9. Everything you do is an adventure.

10. Showering with a locked door behind you is a luxury.

11. Children do not understand why a mammy would ever want to have any privacy.

12. You will inherit ‘shower schizophrenia’, a constant belief your baby is crying whilst you shower.

13. You often finish up showering with only one leg shaved and have you will have a frequent presence of unwashed conditioner in your hair.

14. You may have an audience whilst showering, shouting the most awkward of questions.

15. You will never wear white again.

16. Children have one level of volume, LOUD!!

17. You are easily manipulated by puppy-dog-eyes.

18. Your washing basket will never be empty.

19, If you mop the floor, it’s guaranteed they will spill something.

20. You will spend most of your days threatening to throw away their toys, if they don’t clean them up.

21. It is perfectly acceptable to sniff a childs butt in public.

22. You can do almost anything with one hand.

23. You will re-define “sleeping-in” to any time past 7:30am.

24. You will have impeccable packing skills.

25. That it’s very rewarding to have a purpose other than yourself.

26. You will realize how amazing it is to watch children grow. Observing the confident-creative little people they become.

27. You will be wiping butts for eternity.

28. There will be a never ending trail of mush, crumbs and spills.

29. An early night is going to bed the same time as your children.

30. You will use baby wipes to clean almost everything from random spills to your whole bathroom.

31. You will have perfected the straight that’s-not-funny face when it’s actually quite hilarious.

32. You will never judge a stranger on their child’s behaviour. If anything you will sympathize.

33. Bedtime will become one of your favourite times of the day.

34. You need caffeine to get through your day.

35. Children get inhuman bursts of energy at bedtime

36. Silence is not golden. Never trust a quiet toddler.

37. Your food always looks tastier.

38. You wouldn’t change anything.

About

My Little Babog is a multi-award winning Irish parenting and family travel blog. I’m Kellie, a serial coffee drinker, a professional cake eater, a cloth nappy enthusiast and mammy to Kayla, Frankie, Kadie, and Kenzie. I’m on an amazing journey, winging it all the way. Here you will find my parenting fails and honest tales.

My eldest is Kayla. She can be found making YouTube tutorials on my phone with her Lottie Dolls or searching for fairies in the garden. She likes climbing tree’s, unicorns, snails, my makeup and love to read. I spend my day’s bargaining, bribing and counting to three with this one. Kayla’s daddy and I are separated and we both co-parent.

tayto park tips and trick theme park ireland

Frankie is my koala bear, I cannot piss in peace with this one. We don’t practice attachment parenting but he can be mostly found on my back, hip or leg. He likes anything to do with Dinosaurs, the great outdoors and custard creams. I’ve recently just shipped him off to preschool and it’s bleeding deadly!

And Kadie, she made a dramatic entrance into this crazy world in August 2015 with an unexpected home birth. She potty trained at twenty months old, she eats like a horse and loves terrorizing her big brother and her Care Bear. She’s the feisty one, she’s hypermobile, looks almost two years older than she should and drives me to the brink of insanity on a daily basis.

And finally Kenzie, the latest addition, born July ’16. She’s a cloth nappy wearer, I’m STILL breastfeeding her and she’s never slept a night in a cot. There are only ten months between Kadie and Kenzie, Irish twins. I must be mad. I am mad.

And then there’s Joe, my partner. He’s a plasterer and his favourite days of the week are Monday to Saturday when he’s at work. He also loves when the kids asleep in their own beds.

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