Having a baby is the most beautiful natural and wonderful process in the world but not many tell you the truth of what really happens during and post pregnancy. Whilst some lucky mums-to-be are blessed with a ‘glowing complexion’, bypass on the heartburn and get no strange weird cravings at 3 am. There are some things your friends and family forgot to tell you. We normally only share all the pretty things about being pregnant and having a baby so here is a list of things I would tell my best friend about having a baby. (more…)
Category: My Blog
I read somewhere that most mothers are able to tell what their babies want by the sound of their cries. We understand the difference of a hungry and pain cry. The first time I heard Frankie’s ‘pain’ cry I got really worried and we ended up in hospital that night (see Frankie got a Freddie). I’ve been listening to his cries and done some research to try understand the difference in babies cries. Decoding their cries can help ease both mummy and baby frustration at such a helpless age.
The Hungry Cry (or thirst)
This is probably the first thing you think of when your baby cries. It’s a repetitive cry and just gets louder and louder. It eventually turns frantic. This cry tends to sounds like ‘Neeeh’ it comes from the suckling reflux.
Some other signs of hunger is smacking of the lips, putting hands in their mouth, pushing head from left to right in a swift fast movement. If they put their tongue to the top of the mouth, it’s more than likely that they want a feed.
The Wind Cry
Shortly after eating if your baby lets out piercing or intense cries they may have tummy pain. If they draw up their legs or are visibly uncomfortable when you lay them on their back. The cry ‘Ehhh’ is the reflex sounds usually associated when they are trying to push wind from their belly.
The usual repeated back-rubs and gentle smacks, holding babies back and chin up straight usually do the trick and bring relief to baby. Infacol and Gripe-water are some mummy favourites to help relieve trapped wind also.
The Tired & Overstimulated Cry
This is when your baby’s cry is inconsistent and it may alternate between laughter and fussing. Your babies crying can be fairly soft, and it starts and stops. You may be able to soothe your baby, but eventually the crying intensifies. The yawn reflex normally sound like ‘Owwwh’
Babies grow so much in the first few months. Even though it looks like they don’t do much other than goo and gaah, their growing each and everyday and that can leave the body exhausted. Some days they may need more sleep than others.
The Constipation Cry
It’s hard angry like grunting cry, sound like ‘Ehhair’. Baby may need to have a bowel movement or have intestinal gas. Stimulating the rectum, cycling the legs and pushing them up can help ease and relieve some pain. Some people tend to feed brown sugar and water to help quicken bowel movement also.
The Pain Cry (Sick)
This is the cry every mothers worst nightmare. Your baby’s cry sounds unusual, its different from any of the regular cries you’re used to hearing. If you have tried all of the above I would check babies temperature and seek advice from your G.P.
The Colic Cry
Babies who tend to cry for more than three hours a day, for three or more days a week, chances are baby is colicky. It is described as an constant excessive cry in an otherwise healthy baby. Your babies belly tends to be enlarged or swollen, they can pass wind as they cry and are sometimes inconsolable at a particular time of the day like the late afternoon or evening. Also seek medical advice, babies formula may need changing.
It’s a tough thing for both you and your baby to go through. Ask for help from friends or relatives. Remember babies can sense frustration and it’s absolutely perfectly normal to put your baby down in a safe place and walk away for a few minutes to get a break.
My latest parenting beach hack is just in time for summer. For some talcum powder is not only fantastic at keeping babies’ bottoms dry and helping to prevent nappy rash – baby talcum powder is my secret weapon at the beach. It’s always in the boot of my car along with some suncream. (more…)
My reflection on how I coped during both of my children’s first few months.
Isn’t it interesting how with every baby we have, we have different ways of raising them? I look back on my first born and I wouldn’t let anyone cuddle her with the fear she was going to crave attention. I bought everything brand new, not a second-hand item in sight. I gave her warm bottles as I was told it was better for her tummy. Woke her religiously every three-to-four hours for the first six weeks. I ran to the doctor with a sniffle. I didn’t do proper research my buggy and ended up buying a new one at 24 weeks old. Kayla never had tummy time, to be honest I didn’t know what tummy time was. She’s so picky with her foods now, as I never experimented with flavours and textures. She won’t eat most vegetables and it’s my own fault!!
During my pregnancy on Frankie so many people offered clothes, blankets, swings, sterilizers etc. This time I wasn’t too proud. I accepted anything and everything bar his cot. I bought Frankie four sets of clothes during my pregnancy and I have only bought him three outfits since he was born. He’s fourteen-weeks-old now. They live in baby grows for the first six-weeks. Friends and family buy you so much, mainly clothes. If I didn’t like them, I exchanged them for something I did like. I always give a credit note for this reason. We don’t all have the same taste. I spent hundreds on Kayla, money which I didn’t have on little dresses that were not comfortable on a new baby.
Anybody who offers any hand-me-down baby items now, I jump at the chance. I though on Kayla, no way. The thoughts of hand-me-downs reminded me of my childhood. Money was tight, most clothes came from family, friends and charity shops. Hems were lowered, trousers cut into shorts. Now I just think gimme everything you got. A wash, an iron and as good as new. Why waste money on something that is perfect?
Cuddles? Hmmm, I was told ‘don’t have that baby in your arms she’ll just get use to it, wait till your on your own’. I don’t know if I didn’t bond with Kayla at first like I did Frankie l, I just fed, changed, put her down. My pregnancy on Kayla was a shock. I was sick one month, pregnant the next, then all of a sudden I was responsible for this little person. It was all so quick and to be quite honest, I didn’t know what I was doing. Force feeding Gripe water and infacol, telling everyone she was colic and had bad reflux, but to be honest looking back, I don’t think I was winding her properly.
If I remember correctly Kayla was on five antibiotics the first year of her life. I ran to the doctor with a sniffle, sneeze or a cough. I’m pretty sure I left the surgery one day thinking ‘how stupid she’s just teething’. Frankie had a cough a couple weeks ago. This time I chose to let his immune system kick in. A baby should not be on antibiotics at six-weeks-old. My determination worked, he was perfectly fine after 2-3 days.
I never want to see a warm bottle ever again. Running though the Square S.C, looking for a microwave or praying the bottle would heat up quicker sitting in a tea-pot of hot water. Dragging my feet down the stairs during night feeds just to warm a bottle up. This time it’s room temperature. Best tip anyone has every gave me. Makes life so much easier and the night feeds quicker.
I’m certainly no chef. Although I make a mean vegetable soup. Kayla eats potatoes and gravy. Gravy, potatoes and cold sausages. Beans, potatoes and gravy, oh and did I mention potatoes? The odd fish fingers, pasta and soup of course. She’s such a fussy eater. She’s allergic to eggs and is lactose intolerant aswell.
I’m currently looking at magazines, books and websites for new adventurous recipes to make for Frankie. Butternut squash, sweet potato, cucumber, hummus and sweetcorn. All things I would never dream of giving to myself never mind a baby. It’s all changed now. I won’t be freezing my mam’s left over stew or casserole. I’m so excited to experiment with all these new foods.
If I remember correctly I bathed Kayla almost every night. In products I knew nothing about just because they advertised them with a picture of a cute baby smiling. She ended up with awful baby eczema and nothing seemed to stop the flare ups. Why do we choose to use creams, lotions and potions on our babies? Warm water is perfectly fine, without parabens, preservatives basically adding crap to our children’s baths. I choose wisely this time. Infacare ultra mild. It’s light, moisturizing and you only need a drop in each bath. A bottle should do six months.
I never accepted help. I thought I have to prove to everyone I’m a good mam. I need to do everything for myself. So stupid of me. I was exhausted. I came home from the hospital with Frankie, sat on the sofa and I didn’t move. Anybody who said if you need anything done, want me to take Kayla for a few hours, overnight, make bottles, hoover your floors etc. I held them to it and took up their offers. I spent the first two weeks looking after myself, bonding with Frankie, enjoying his first weeks.
On Kayla I was up out, window shopping, anything just to get out of the house. Looking for a job when she was only three months old. Now I’m thinking, gosh I’m back to work in less than four months. Six months just isn’t enough time.
All I remember is Kayla crying, her getting sick, the tiredness, exhaustion, applying for jobs. Some family and friends disagree with me on Kayla’s first year. They felt guilty feeding her as she fell asleep whilst drinking bottles, that she was one of the best babies ever. So why don’t I think that? Makes me wonder… Did I have post natal depression? I am one for pretending everything okay when it’s clearly not. Did I know? Did I try mask it? Did I lose some of the most precious first moments of my babies life?
I lived at home with my mam, dad and little brother, sharing a room with Kayla for her first year. My mam is so particular with her home, she’s house proud so I felt I was stepping on toes a lot. My dad was up for work at five or six and with Kayla’s two night feeds, until she was eight or nine months old, I can imagine he couldn’t wait until I moved our to get a good nights sleep. Then I had a hormonal brother preparing for the leaving cert too. It was a lot of pressure to try keep everyone happy.
I couldn’t wait for ‘me time’. I’m pretty sure other people had her more than I did as she got older. She spent lots of time with her godmother, her parents, my cousin, my Aunty, my mam and her very fraternal nana. Basically anybody who answered the phone to me. I just wanted time to be Kellie again, even if just for a few hours. Maybe that’s why I started looking for a job again when she was only 3 months old. I think my pregnancy was such a shock that I wasn’t prepared for motherhood. This all changed after settling in to our new home. I wouldn’t dream of leaving Frankie with anybody right now, maybe I am finally ready to be a mammy.
All I can do know is take it as a life lesson, do everything different. Learn from my mistakes. Me and Kayla are best buds. She’s my little sidekick. Where I go she goes. We both have our moments like everyone. I’ve made up now with what I lost when she was so small and cherish every moment I get with her now.
I hope you get some advice from this blog, its very personal to me. Not many people believed I struggled with Kayla as a new baby. It has taken me four years to actually open up about it. If you have any worries, concerns or feel like you can’t cope, please speak to a family member or close friend. I hate thinking someone out their is hibernating their post natal depression. Speak up, get help and be the person best you can be.
So I have pretty much had the worst luck ever, which is strange considering everyone around me says I’m the luckiest person they know. I’m the one who wins every raffle I enter and the Bingo jackpots, although I’ve yet to win the Lotto. I went and broke my foot four weeks after giving birth to my baby boy, Frankie. So now I have a seven-week-old baby boy, a demanding four-year-old daughter Kayla, and NO LEFT FOOT! And no, it didn’t happen on my first night out since having Frankie (it’s going be almost 12 months before I can wear six-inch heels and hit the pub again since becoming pregnant). In actual fact, I was having a water fight. A mother of two can still have fun!