It’s official. I have two toddlers now. Two little rascals. Two little head melters running around pecking away at the last bit of sanity I have left. I’ve been in denial for quite some time, I didn’t want to accept my little squish was growing up. She’s gone from baby to brat in the blink of an eye. A cute little brat though…The two toddlers are notorious together. Bouncing off each other at every opportunity.
They’re always up to mischief. Rogues the two of them. Every single time I’m feeding the baby one of them will suss out whether she’s falling asleep or not and then they up end the gaf. The rip my wallpaper, climb the presses and make it their mission to find water. They are mad for the bathroom.
How do your kids get upstairs? MY BOY CAN OPEN EVERY SINGLE SAFETY GATE! Even the ones I struggle with never mind visitors. He has me tortured.
That goes for the ‘treat’ press too, not that there are many treats to be fair. The little bollox can open that now. And if he’s not he is off causing mischief in another corner of the house while the other one is wiggling her hand in to get my Keenwah Quinoa (that shit is not cheap) to make it snow or to chew holes in my Nespresso Pods.
They are the best of friends one minute and enemies the next. Frenemies. They fight like I don’t know what but then they are jumping up and down the sofa’s the next.
They Speak In Code
The boy has found his voice and I cannot shut him up. The child has an answer for everything and he has the cheekiest sense of humour. But most of all he understands every oh and ah his little sister squeaks or squeals. She just throws out random sounds and he’s like ‘yeah ka-ka, I’ll do it now’. Like WTF?
That’s Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine…
‘No that’s mine’.
‘Noooh that’s mine’.
And AGAIN calm down now lads, it’s mine. I bloody paid for it (well actually Joe probably did but shush!). They share NOTHING, ever. Everything is mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
Let’s Play Tag
They bathe together. But when I say bathe I mean drown Joe or I or the floors. There has been a couple of occasions where the floor downstairs has had a bath of it’s own. Only Saturday they brought a roll of toilet paper in the bath with them and it was in tiny little molecules before we realised. My bathroom ceiling looks like my old school toilets too, you know with the balls of toilet paper on the ceiling. Another reason to get that cleaner…
They basically have me running rings around them. You can never trust quiet in this house even when they’re ‘sleeping’. The girl is notorious for stripping off. Every second time I get her from naptime you can be guaranteed she’ll be the nip and the boy will be cheering her on as if it’s the funniest thing he’s every seen. Sometimes he dives head firsts into her cot to strip off too.
They also love a chase. They have this little giggle that bounces off each other that melts my heart even when they are tag teaming and destroying the place. It’s the bond that melts my heart not the antics. No matter how much I child proof this house, they always find a way.
Ka-Ka Did It
It’s never the boy’s fault, like ever. Everything is Ka-Ka’s fault. I do actually discipline my children for those who follow me on snap chat but not until they turn two. We do the step and again for those of you watching our daily antics you’ll no it means jack shit. The boy knows I won’t put the one-year-old on the step so he blames everything on her so he can get away with whatever wrong he has done. He’s bang wide.
Yep, my two toddlers, my little ‘angels’. Only another month left with three under three. Then I’ll have an almost wobbler, a toddler and a preschooler. F**K.