Everyone keeps asking how we are getting on. Well, it’s mayhem, it’s madness, it’s absolute chaos. Nothing can prepare you for two under one, or three under three. Somedays I look down and say to myself who owns all these kids. There’s so many of them. There are too many names remember. I call Kadie Kenzie and Kenzie Kadie. I even opened the door one evening and called Frankie’s name really loudly. He was in bed and I woke him with my roars. I was looking for the dog.
Somedays I feel like I’m the ringmaster of a three-ring circus. For example, I can’t leave Kadie alone with Frankie ’cause she just bullies him. So one of the days last week while desperate for a shower I plonked her in her high chair in the bathroom just so I could keep an eye on her.
Kadie turned one on Saturday and we cleverly planned to have both the girls christened the same day too. They were twinning in little matching dresses from Debenhams and little hairbands from Pretty Baby Hair Accessories. We has a brilliant day, the girls were spoilt rotten and all the kids had a ball. I even managed some new hair and got my make-up done professionally. We managed to get one decent photo of the two of them together, it screams cuteness but in reality seconds later Kadie headbutted her sister and high-fived her in the face. She’s real loving like that.
I spend my days bribing the kids. Custard creams, raisins, Beat Bugs on Netflix and the best bribe of all is letting the boy play with the Kidloland app that I’m currently reviewing on my phone. I can easily get an hours peace to feed the baby or catch up with washing or something. It’s rare that anyone is dressed before midday or dressed at all.
When we do manage to get out I find it quite hilarious when we all pile from the car, the looks, the stares and the ‘are they all yours’. I know, I’ve my hands full and I don’t need reminding every time I step out the door. Talking about the door it takes a good hour to get out it. By the time I feed them, clean up, change nappies, dress them and secure them in their car seats it’s time to feed them all over again. I’ve gone out shopping once with all four of them on my own. It was a couple of weeks ago and I’m still recovering from it.
This morning I dressed all the kids in the new clobber they got over the weekend, each and every one of them sparkling, hair bows on the two small ones and all. Then the babog puked all over herself, the bigger babog shit up her back and then the toddler decided it was a good time to pour himself a teapot of milk.
Kenzie is amazing, everyone is besotted with her. She’s exclusively breastfed and thriving. She’s my best sleeper yet, she wakes once a night, if even. She still sleeps pretty much all day too and how is beyond me, you know with the noise that is this house. I’ve considered investing in a pair of ear plugs. The thoughts of three of them running around screaming next year gives me the sweats.
The boy is obsessed with her, he just wants to sit holding his baby sister all day long. Her arrival has well and truly calmed him down. But as he stops destroying the house his younger sibling has taken his place. We got him and his big sis bunk beds. First night went really well and so did the second and third. Tonight he decided to have a party in Kadie’s room while she was sleeping. Little shit.
Kadie is the new master of destruction. We are currently going through the biting phase too. We’ve all had a nip so I’ve baby tucked away in a playpen during the day, cause I know she’s dying to get her hands on her to ‘play’.
Kayla was away for 11 days and I sobbed the first two of them. Then I copped on as soon as I realized I could sit on my arse during naptime, did I mention Frankie still naps THREE HOURS A DAY! I got to boob the baby in peace, catch some precious newborn snuggles and somedays even managed a little snooze. I’ve no problem with her going away for two weeks next year. In fact, I’ll pay her flights and accommodation.
So that’s it, well apart from the washing machine going ninety, the noise, catching Frankie cupping his nipple into the babogs face and eating myself out of house and home we are doing really good. I think.