Lovely bit of sun here in Dublin, and to top if off Daddy
had a whopper hangover and decided to take the day off. After a four hour nap with Frankie this morning, I was full of beams. Let’s go the beach I said. It will be fun I said.
And the car was packed. The kids, a picnic, flicker for the big kid, an old umbrella buggy and Frankie’s wishbone bike. Let the adventure begin…
Until we sat in traffic for forty-five minutes in the blistering heat.
‘I’m cold’ WTF?
‘Wan me num-nums’
‘My finger is falling off’
‘It’s too hot’
‘Ouch he’s hitting me’
‘Are we there yet?’
We pull off the motorway to sooth baby to realise we have forgotten the baby bag, you know that bag with all the essentials like nappies, wipes, bottles and sun cream, yeah that one.
Hometime. We’ve only been on the road an hour like…
I get the baby bag. We get McFlurrys. Baby out cold. Big kid out cold. Boy having a disco in the back of the car. Grand.
We arrive. We find a lovely little spot. We set up, strip off and…
The boy throws sand at the people beside us.
The babog cries cause the stones don’t taste nice.
The babog takes off her sun hat for the millionth time.
The big kid had a wet sand fight with random kids and gets some in one of their eyes.
We get ATTACKED by millions of flies.
The boy won’t take his runners off cause he’s afraid of the sand.
The babog cries cause the sand doesn’t taste nice.
The boy won’t eat his sambo cause there is sand on it.
The boy won’t eat his sambo cause there is sand on his knee.
The boy won’t eat another sambo cause there’s no ‘namm’ (jam) on it.
I observe Joe, who is wishing he had gone to work.
The daredevil-big-kid tempts fate by going out further than ever one else in the water. She thinks she’s deadly. She trips over and almost drowns.
The boy eats a packet of waffles, gets bored, pours them down my back and squirts a fruit shoot on them/me.
Joe threatens to throw him in the water. AND ALMOST FALLS IN HIMSELF. HILARIOUS!
The boy sneaks half a can of Club Orange into him as I’m tending to the babog.
Big kid has a fit cause I drop her towel by accident and everyone see’s her bum. She hates me. It’s all my fault.
After forty minutes on the beach, we had enough. Ice-creams. Off to the park. Peace. Everyone is happy. Babog most of all is in her element. The first smile we’ve seen all day.
On route I have a fight with our stupid single Mamas and Papas umbrella buggy and its stupid buckled wheel. I act like a crazed lunatic kicking wheels and stomping. People actually walked around me, staring. I can see some woman debating whether to give me a hug or not. She opts to give me an awkward smile, I may have hissed at her.
Some woman passes us with her knockers hanging out. I can see Joe from a distance looking back to see if he can get another glance as the boy shouts out ‘boobies’. FML. Like father like son.
And then we really call it quits. Everyone is shattered. The big kid is STARVING. ‘Bag of chips with loads of salt and vinegar’ she says. After an hour in the queue, mission complete.
‘They are too hot’.
‘Arrgggh. The salt is burning my cuts’.
‘I need to go the toilet’.
‘I’m still starving’.
And then we were home. With three loads of washing. And three hyper kids.
Let’s go the beach she said. It will be fun she said…