The third child, fourth pregnancy, and I am still learning daily. Not one day has gone by that I haven’t learned something new about pregnancy or parenting.
Baby bottles should come with extra lids. Those little f**kers are notoriously good at hide and seek.
When one gets sick, they all get sick.
Snax, custard creams, and diluted orange aren’t the devil. They could be the answer to world peace.
Multimam compresses, Calpol and Teetha granules should be completely free and available to every parent – morning, noon or night.
It doesn’t matter how tired you are they will still jump on you, hid under their cot, be really loud and refuse to nap or sleep.
Nothing will ever prepare you for babies first poo, that meconium is a right little bugger.
Counting to three will be your most commonly used phrase and it does absolutely nothing.
Trampolines are the sh*t. Once you close those hooks, the back door and blare the radio you can easily get a good hour to yourself.
Dads (or birthing partners) should be allowed stay in the hospital after delivery with you.
Cheerio’s should come with a warning label. Find me in your bra, bed, forehead, and nappy.
Babies and toddlers WILL NOT perform on call. Nobody will ever believe that they can clap hands, wave bye or high-five.
An early night is going to bed the same time as your children only to lie there thinking of all the things you should be doing.
All new parents should get a police escort home from the hospital. That drive is the scariest, most worrying drive of your life – no matter how many times you have done it.
Dogs are an essential part of weaning.
Children get an inhumane burst of energy just before bedtime.
Parking a**holes exist, and they don’t care if you have a mahoosive bump or if you’re trying to hustle a maxi cosi in and out of your car.
Always trust your instincts. I’m a firm believer in mama or dada knows best.
There is a million and one ways to parent, everyone will have an opinion (even your own mammy) but really the only one that matters is yours.
And finally the saying ‘the days are long but the years are short’ is SO true. Where did my babogs go?
#shamelessplug – Lads, bloggy awards season is upon us and I’m shortlisted as Best Parenting Blog in the Maternity & Infant Awards 2016… go on give us a VOTE (p.s the easiest way to vote is to sign in through Facebook).