This post has been floating about in my drafts for months now. It’s something that has been on my mind for a long time.
I’m in a lot of Facebook group, while I mostly lurk in the background, I’ve seen a number of parents attacked with words for their parenting choices and it’s really starting to get to me. I follow lots of big parenting websites and it’s happen publically in the comments section too.
I don’t believe any mother or father for that matter should ever be judged for their parenting decisions. Parenting is tough going whether you have one kid or ten. In fact nobody really knows what happens behind closed doors, and how hurtful some of those comments I’ve seen could be to someone. Instead of judging or getting the last word in can we not just all support and encourage one another? We are all out to do what we believe is the best for our own children.
I’ve baby led weaned and traditionally weaned.
I use both cloth nappies and disposables.
I’ve breast-fed and bottle fed.
We have a co-sleeper and a cot sleeper
I’ve tried cry it out, controlled crying and no crying at all.
I’ve pushed a buggy and wore my baby.
I’m a stay at home and I’ve been a working mum.
And my two-year old still takes a bottle going to bed and sucks a soother.
We all have our reasons, whether they’ve been informed decisions or not, and while I do believe everyone is entitled to an opinion, sometimes we need to learn when to keep our mouths shut. Can we not just support and accept one another’s decisions? Parenting is hard enough without having to worry what other people think.
Featured image credit: Nessa Robinson Photography
21 Comments on Lets Just Support One Another
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Amen to that!
I’ve unliked all the parenting pages because of all the drama and judgment. Even though I hardly get on fb I may unlike my favorite pages because people just don’t know how to be nice and bite their tongue.
It’s shocking really. We are all adults, just some people don’t know how to act it!
That’s for sure
I’ve also unliked all bar two of every single parenting group or page I’ve been on. A parenting forum was the source of vile personal abuse towards me earlier this year – for no reason at all apart from someone disagreeing with the way I spend my time (yet not seeing spending time slagging people off online as a waste) – it really angers me that these sites, where Mams (or Dads) are supposed to be able to go to let off steam, or look for advice, turn into festering arguments and throwing shade all the time. I feel sad for first time mothers who log on looking for support and end up feeling judged and crap.
I’m actually in the two groups your still in. I think they are the only two groups left if your looking for non judgemental real mum advice. Oh I remember that, absolutely awful. Trolls! People who have nothing better to do be doing with their lives!!
I hear ya!!! You need a thick skin on those closed pages for sure. I’ve unfollowed all of them. The funny thing is though I found them invaluable as a first time mum. The constant bitchiness drove me away, it really is a shame. Its a small minority on these groups that do all the shouting!
Me too, I would have been lost without these groups years ago, they’ve morphed over the years. It really is a shame!
There is no ‘fit-all’ for parenting. I’m not a mum but even I can see that! As you say so eloquently above; you’ve had a mix of all styles of parenting and that’s okay x
Exactly this!
Hear hear! Some of those groups are what can only be described as toxic – it’s schoolyard bullying from grown adults who should really know better – we’re all learning it as we go, nobody I know was handed their baby with the manual!
So true! Everyone has their own reasons for making their choices and they shouldn’t feel judged. These groups should be SUPPORT groups x
Each child is individual and we parent our children individually too, and that is sooooo ok because it works for you and your child!!
Well said. I think there’s a lot of judging going on and nobody knows everything that’s going on in someone else’s family too.
I definitely agree, I’m currently pregnant with my first and whilst I have learnt a lot from the groups I wouldn’t dare post a question because of the judgmental nature of the responses.
Well said. Parenting is tough and we need to be on each other’s side. A little understanding goes a long way!!
I didn’t realise how much small things can be judged so easily with parenting. Every parent should be able to make there decisions, make there own mistakes and bring there children uo the way they think is best.
Well said. Could not agree more!
Honestly I experience this nearly everyday. But having kid number 2 I couldn’t care less any more what they say and I do it my way.
Honestly, I am experiencing this nearly everyday but after kid 2 I don’t even care any more and let them talk but I am doing everything my way.
Wise words Kellie 🙂