This post is basically an updated version of ‘how to have an easy life with a four-year old’. In fairness not much has changed in the past year except for the fact she has a bigger mouth and I haven’t the energy to argue anymore.
Here is a list of how I make life easy with my five-year-old (they work most days).
1. Bribe with pancakes. Don’t attempt to fool your kid with eggy bread instead of pancakes, they just know because they know everything.
2. ALWAYS let your child press the elevator button, it’s just not worth the hassle.
3. Don’t bother trying to introduce new food. Just stick to what you know.
4. Allow child to sit in the awkward small part of the trolley.
5. Put gravy on E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
6. No matter how ridiculous your child looks, let them wear whatever they want.
7. Give them your phone for some peace and quiet. They’ll watch stupid kinder surprise openings, Disney collector video’s and Americans playing with Play-Doh. As annoying as they are, you could easily get an extra half hour in bed or numerous uninterrupted coffees in.
8. When racing your kid up the stairs, always let them win and if for some reason they don’t, it’s the last person up the stairs who wins. It’s a win-win situation.
9. The amount of bubbles is a bath is as important as the amount of toys they can fit. Make sure you give them a shit load of bubbles.
10. Under no circumstance can you do a toy clear-out without them present even if your recycling them for the poor kids.
11. Let them think they are ‘The Boss’ at all times.
12. How you cut their sandwich is way more important than what’s actually in it. Always treble check.
and there you have it an easy life with my five-year old anyways but I’m pretty sure this applies to children of all ages.