I don’t go out very often but when I do…
You can be guaranteed there’ll be a text or call within five minutes of leaving.
The kids will be fed chocolate/sweets and anything that will them quiet.
He will find new ways to keep the kids under control.
Bedtime is an hour or two later than normal.
The kids will most likely be wearing a football kit, mis-match clothing or no clothing at all.
He will show a creative side.
I can be guaranteed he won’t be cooking, if he doesn’t visit his mammy, he’ll be ordering a take-away for tea.
He’ll give into their every demand..
Upon return I can be guaranteed the house will look like it’s been raided by the drug squad.
I will most likely receive a selfie of the baby with a moustache, bottle of beer or a squished up face.
And you can be guaranteed the next day all those baby proofing things I’ve been nagging about will be completed.