He’s fourteen months, on his thirteenth tooth, eats like a horse, shits like a donkey and is destroying our home. He’s always up to mischief. We should have called him Denis, Denis The Bleeding Menace.

This week he discovered he could wiggle his arms from the carseat.

This week he took his (thankfully only wet) nappy off and put it on his head.

This week he ate a piece of Lego, a crayon, dog food, grass, chalk and stones from the beach.

This week he took a chunk out of his sisters finger. However, she was the fool for putting it in their.

This week he almost got his own finger stuck down the drain in the bath.

This week he tried to ride on the dog.

This week I have changed his clothes at least five times a day.

This week he broke and I mean BROKE one of the child safety locks clean off the kitchen cupboard.

This week he discovered the word ‘that’.

This week he dropped his afternoon nap. Kill me now… oh wait!

This week he tried to KILL me while driving on the bypass by launching a 4oz bottle at my head.

And this week he started walking.

Walking. More trouble ahead.

He has full advantage of our home to explore and I’m starting to regret not introducing a play-pen. We put a gate up on the playroom door yesterday, he just rattles it, screams and bangs his head off it until we open it. I’ve never been a fan of baby harnesses either but I picked one up in Dealz yesterday. Actually that’s a lie, I picked up two, you know just in case he chews through one.

Why are boys so mischieveous? Please tell me it’s not just my child. Kayla was a little angel compared. He understands the different tones and knows when I’m going to wag my finger at him but I’m a sucker for the lip and his big brown puppy eyes. How can you give out to a one year old, like really?

I’m thirty weeks pregnant tomorrow. So that’s ten weeks to teach him not to bite his sister, to stop trying to escape through the front door at ever knock and to stop trying to launch himself at everything.

Wish me luck!

35 Comments on The Man Child

  1. have two boys, both are little angels. My older one is 4 years old, he started walking at 11 m, another one is nearly 9 months and starts walking already.. I never experienced anything like what you wrote..Its not about boys, ..children are different, like we are. I was reading your post and i really hoped…at least at the end to read something like…but he is my little man, my only one, and I love him so much. You expect from him to be mischievous, just because he is a boy, and you get it..it’s simple

    • Lighten up, Virginija. Of course she loves her kids. She’s having a funny rant. You can’t write or rewrite a bloggers post for them.

  2. My first skipped the crawling and walked at 10.5m too. They really are all so different. Of course I love him but he’s still a little rascal on a mission to drive me insane. He keeps me on my toes for sure.

  3. I think its the 2nd child my 5 year old boy was an angel his 17 month old sister in the other hand is a walking devil

  4. A playpen is one of the best purchases I ever made, we got use out of it till Lillibug was about 18 months and then started to find a way out. We also use a harness because she is a runner with absolutely no fear, I am strict when we are out but it just goes over her head so the harness is a must. Hope you were okay after the fright of 4oz bottle going your way while driving!

  5. LOL sorry but I find it funny side in it as well. I have 5yr old and 9mth old. my first was very good and clean baby, and most of all obedient until the little tantrum boy was born. now my 5 yr old tries to rule the house, he only hears me when I shout at him otherwise ignores me. my little one was born in distress had to be pulled out quickly (didn’t like the natural labor I guess) and it stayed with him. when he is pissed off he really means it, he gets creaming, fists red from squeezing and red on the face from temper. there is no in between with him, he is either happy of a demon. But I know that saying no is very important and actions to support it. harness very handy stuff, prevents them from breaking nose on the sidewalk (mission impossible hanging job) and you will have more control over where and how far they go. I did it with my first, we had 2 sets of these one for the car one for home and walks. he protested alot but I always gave him choice, either harness while walking or staying home.. and you know what, before I knew it he used to remind me this himself before each walk. Mum don’t forget the harness. I have 2 boys and it is a big struggle for me, 2 different characters for sure. I miss times when I wasn’t a mother. and don’t judge me here, but I think that in some cases having kids is overrated. There is this pressure of having a family and kids and you truly don’t know what it is like until you actually have them. toughest challenge in life.

    • Parenting is without a doubt challenging at times. God I’ve had days when I just wanted to walk out the door or rang dad to come home early. I only hope this is just a phase of exploration with little man. I could not cope with years of this running around. Those harnesses are the best invention ever too.

  6. snap !! i wasn’t a fan of baby harnesses but i would leave the house with out it… my little one hates the buggy so its been a life saver … i thought mine was the only house that the dog needs a saddle x

  7. dont put to much pressure on youself to have everything set in place before baby comes trust me it all falls into place after baby arrives and your littleone will be protective of you both from the start trust me im a mummy of 6 ive been there many times 🙂

    • It fell into place when little man arrived. I’m just worried having a toddler well a wobbler and a new baby. It’s hard enough as it is. I suppose I’ll just have to take each day as they come…
      6 kiddies… supermom!!

  8. Oh I hear you and feel your pain! Boys are really full on aren’t they?! Luke treats the dog like a horse everyday, also loves to wriggle his arms out of the car seat and has recently discovered how t climb up on the window using the foot stool to hang out the back window to see the dog…jesus give me strength!! 10 weeks is plenty of time… 😉

    • Oh the window ledge was an issue here too until he fell off it. We have bay windows so they are low. He just stands by them now, thankfully! Lesson learned I suppose. 9 weeks and 2 days and I haven’t got anywhere yet…

  9. I actually just laughed out loud at the thought of him throwing a bottle at your head in the car! Clara is really getting into everything now – eating anything she finds on the floor, biting, climbing the stairs as soon as my back is turned. Hopefully you will get a chance to relax and put your feet up before baby arrives!

  10. Uh oh! I’d love to say ‘awwww, walking how cute’ but I actually feel for you, it only gets worse, and with pregnancy too! Poor you! 😉 Nahh, it’s not all bad, by the time the new baby arrives he’ll be able to put stuff in the bin for you and ‘help’ in other ways! you can use him to your advantage!
    Thanks for linking up with #WhatMyKidDid

  11. Oh I have one of these! he is 2 now, and some bits are easier – he can talk back though. If it helps I think our no.3 is going to be more like our eldest, the calmer easier kind

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