Since becoming a first-time mammy over six years ago I’ve learned so much about myself, my children and parenting in general. My first born was a science experiment; everything was trial and error. Visitors were sanitized, daddy was sanitized, everything was sanitized while baby number two was practically feeding himself on day two. Here I have compiled a list of things that don’t tend to happen when you bring your precious second, third and fourth baby home, nothing ever stays the same.
- You will not be afraid to co-sleep or bed share, not even for a second. You’ll wonder if there is any point setting up the crib or Moses basket.
- With your first baby you would have perfectly coordinated each outfit from head to toe, all washed and stored neatly in the nursery. With the second you’re just going for clean while you parade your third and fourth baby around in a nappy.
- You won’t be decorating a nursery at all this time round. Sorry second child, but you won’t actually use that room and you won’t even care.
- On your first baby, you keep an awesome baby book with every detail of babies first’s days. The second baby is lucky to get a rough estimate of milestones.
- You will not freak out about giving birth. You hear and read so many horror stories the first time around and you worried about every little thing, well I did anyways.
- When the first born dropped a soother, a toy or even a teether it was boiled, sterilized and inspected a million times over. Baby number two and three’s soother or toy is lucky to get a little blow never mind a leg wipe. God help the fourth.
- For a night out with baby number one you interview and do background checks on babysitters, even if they’re family. Baby number two, three and four gets thrown at the babysitter.
- You won’t change your baby every time they wake through the night. Who has time for that shit?
- Baby number one is compared to every other baby in the universe. You panic if milestones are not met in a timely manner. With baby number two you will no longer measure your own babies’ development against that of others. You are in no rush for the second born to learn how to walk because you know that’s when all the trouble begins. Come baby number three you will gentle pat baby back down to the floor, it’s way too early for this one to start walking yet!
- Regardless of how proud and exhausted, you were – you never accepted help on your first. You will now preach for any assistance once baby two, three and four comes along.
- You won’t introduce your second baby to Peppa Pig; she has the most stupidly annoying voice ever.
- By the time your second baby comes along you will no longer stress over sleep deprivation. You will now have accepted that you will probably never get a full night’s sleep until they are at least eighteen.
- And finally, by the time you get to your fourth baby you begin to take contraception a little more seriously.
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