So the other half is home for the next week, he is resting, having had successful knee surgery last week.  He normally works Monday to Saturday and arrives home shortly before bedtime. Most days he appears home while I’m stressing over dinner, dirty floors, tantrums, teething and/or piles of laundry. Huffing and puffing about the hoover being out four times or trying to explain why Frankie had food in his hair AGAIN.

This week I discovered he will never be a stay at home dad, ever and appreciates everything I actually do. While laid on the sofa resting he got to observe my daily routine while trying to run a business at the same time. And guess what he thinks I’m superwoman!!

Here is how he (I mean we) got on…

‘But you’ve just fed him.’

‘Is he serious? You’ve just hoovered’

‘You can never have clean clothes with kids, can ya?’

‘Where’s them magic crystal sachets

‘At what age do they sit there and watch a movie?’

‘He’s taking the piss outta me, I’ve just changed his nappy.’

‘I’m going back to work!’

‘You’re taking him with you, aren’t ya’

‘Can we make some sort of beer helmet kinda thing? Yea no one where he can be connected to his bottle at all times’

‘Can you not just put your food in your mouth and leave it there? Look at this mess!’

‘Third time these floors have been cleaned, this is ridiculous.’

‘Leave Tinkerbell (our dog) alone, she’s cleaning the floor!’

‘There are crumbs in his hair!’

‘Is it bedtime yet?’

‘Kayla I’ll give you a fiver if you clean that mess (Kayla was on the ball and asked for the fiver up front).’

‘Frankie ah-ah… I said noooh… awh he never listens to me’

‘He’s not having broccoli. No way! The hoover will be out for the fourth time, not a hope!’

‘Your mother spent ages cooking that, so you will eat it!’

‘I’m definitely going back to work tomorrow.’

‘Hoover, food, hoover, food, wreck the house, change clothes, hoover, food and do it all again tomorrow.’

and finally…

‘Oh NO! This time next year there’s going to be three of them, we’re f**ked!’

He won’t be so quick to question why he’s getting a hambo for his dinner next time!

25 Comments on He’ll Never Be a SAHD

  1. brilliant and so very true! At least I know we’re not the only ones!


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