We have been waiting for this day seven weeks now, to catch a glimpse of our little peanut, to find out how big he or she is and to confirm our due date. Today was supposed to an ecstatic, joyful and heart melting. Today was the day we had our first scan.
It didn’t go as planned.
We got some devastating news. Our clinical midwife sympathetically told us our baby will need another scan ‘to rule out Down Syndrome’.
Once she said the words Down Syndrome, I could feel my throat drying up and my tummy turned upside down. Joe, my partner became pale. We both stared at each other. No words were exchanged. I was inconsolable.
She says her findings are not definite; I will need a further scan with a Consultant in two weeks to measure the fluid at the back of my babies neck, called nuchal translucency. She explained everything we needed to know for now. She also told me not to google anything as I will only worry myself even more. Little did she know I blog, I live online. Google is my virtual best friend.
I am worried. I am sick to my stomach. I’m scared. I cannot eat. I cannot think straight.
I am devastated.
I’m scared of the possibility of raising a baby with Down Syndrome. I know I am a great mammy and Joe a fantastic dad. We have a huge support network around us. We have the best family and friends you could ask for. We worry about bumps health. What does the future hold for our unborn child?
Will our baby have a hearing problem? Will our baby have a physical disability? Will our baby develop congenital heart disease? Will our baby have any other health problems?
We want all the answers now. We can’t have them.
Enter the longest two weeks of our lives.
The news about my pregnancy is spreading fast. Hundreds of thousands have watched Kayla’s reaction to our wonderful news. While on the phone to a friend today, I told her about our scan and risk of our baby having Down Syndrome, she replied some lovely reassuring words, then said ‘A down syndrome baby is a gift from God’.
And that’s when it hit me. A baby with Down Syndrome is NOT a gift from god, ALL BABIES ARE!
Today I have accepted my baby may have a disability. Today I have stopped crying and feeling sorry for myself. Today I stop asking ‘why me?’. Today my partner and I had a real conversation about what the future might hold for our expanding family.
All babies have a nuchal fold of fluid behind their head. Bumps measured higher than normal at 2.8mm during our ten week scan. Anything above three is considered pretty ‘high risk’.
The wait is over.
Today bumps fluid measured 2.3mm. Amazing news. The cord is wrapped around our bumps neck (very common and not dangerous in early pregnancy) and this could have given an inaccurate reading at our dating scan.
I prepared myself for the worst. I had all the questions ready in the notes section of my phone. I did not need them. She was very reassuring. Our consultant continued to tell us about other options available like different types of blood tests available. We could have a blood test done today for €100 and we chose not to. There is also another blood test available in The Beacon costing €450 with a 90% accuracy, we will not be having this one either. She also mentioned another test, I think it was an amniocentesis, again it’s not an option for us, personally we think the risks are too high to even consider. Today the result was low. Our consultant has decided we will have an early anatomy scan at 17 weeks too instead of the normal 20/21 weeks.
For almost three weeks we have been living a nightmare, our world was turned upside down, we didn’t sleep, we couldn’t eat and I cried almost every day. Today we got another glimpse of our little babog. Bump is perfect and he/she always will be, no matter what.
Kadie Belle was born 20/08/2015 read all about it HERE.