I’m just back from attending Kayla’s first school open evening. I got to witness where she sits, the colourful art work surrounding the room and learn more about the curriculum she will be absorbing throughout the year. Her teacher advised on some activities we could do at home to help with pencil grip and motor skills, literacy and maths. There was also a parenting talk by expert Sheila O’ Malley that was very interesting. I’m now rethinking my approach to discipline and how I speak to Kayla when she is upset or angry.
Her school have a star chart system, where a child gets rewarded for good behaviour, manner and overall performance throughout the day. When a child gets ten stars they get a small prize, great incentive for good behaviour, don’t you think? Kayla told me she has loads of stars, so I scoured through looking for the kid with the most stars, obviously and I couldn’t find her name anywhere.
So now we will call it the poxy star chart!
I see it, Kayla, two stars, two measly stars. Surely it’s wrong? She has the least amount stars in her class of twenty something kids. Some of her classmates are on the way to their third prize. I know it shouldn’t but I almost feel like it’s an attack on my parenting skills. Why isn’t she achieving what her friends are? Why is she lying about how many stars she is getting?
I thought she would be top of the class, teaching the new friends their abc’s in sign language, performing her ballet routine with an audience in yard, I assumed she would be top of the class, student of the month, highest achiever. It’s very upsetting; she’s clearly not settling how I envisaged. Maybe my expectations are too high, she’s four in a whole new environment where she is not centre of attention anymore. I only hope she starts to settle soon and her real personality shines through because she is a good kid, a really good kid.
If she gets a star tomorrow we can have chocolate ice-cream for dinner, it won’t change the fact she is struggling to adjust in school but it will make me feel better haha.